#162 – Momma’s Day

Dear Diary,

It was morning, and we were just up. Momma and I stood on our hind legs by the counter and meowed as the Fat One prepared Momma’s medicinal treats. He pushed her gabapentin pill into a soft treat and offered it to her. She eagerly took it and swallowed.

Then he took her anty by otic and prepared it. He gave it to her and down it went into her belly. Fair being fair, I demanded MY two treats. The Fat One rolled his eyes and gave me two undoctored treats. They were tasty!

“That was your last anty by otic, Nancy.” the Fat One said to Momma, “You are officially healed!”. Momma looked at the Fat One and grinned. “Yay!” I exclaimed, “Now, you are all better, Momma!”

To be true, Momma has been feeling 100% for the last few days. She sleeps in bed with us now and uses the Beast With the Open Maw again. The Fat One has put away her recovery room items. Everything is back to normal. Even her fur is growing back over the bare patch on her belly where she had her operation.

She’s better than 100%. She’s so FULL of energy.

The Fat One prepared our breakfast wet food. We both rushed our dishes and began chowing down. Momma wolfed hers down almost as fast as me as the Fat One fed the Beast That Makes Brown Pee.

Our meals inhaled, we set to personal grooming while the Fat One poured brown pee into his mug, added two scoops of that sweet, white powder, and a dollop of that wonderful Half and Half. He stirred it and took a sip. He let out a sigh of delight and headed towards the Big Room and his desk. Momma and I trotted behind with our heads and tails up.

As the Fat One went to his desk, Momma and I found our sunny spot. I looked at my big blue hollow ball with the bell in it. I decided it was The Most Interesting Toy In The World and pounced on it; batting it around the room. Momma watched and then pounced it herself! She chased it around, attacking it repeatedly.

Then she stopped and got a wild look in her eyes. She crouched ready to pounce again with her tailed coiled and whipping side to side. “Oooo!” she declared, “I feel a Wilding coming on!”. She raced around the room, attacking things with wild abandon. She ran up her climbing tree the Fat One had got so she could get to the top of my cat tree and dashed into its tube with the diamond cutout.

She stuck her head out of the diamond cutout and glanced around the Big Room with Crazy Eyes. As if on cue, the Invisible Cat Tree Gnomes Only Cats Can See streamed out from their lair behind the tube and began to attack.

“Look out, Momma!” I warned, “Here they come!”.

“I see them!” Momma answered excitedly. She stuck a leg out of the diamond cutout and viciously defended herself. She scythed down entire rows of them, watching as they tumbled to the floor, dusted themselves off, and climbed my tree to attack again. A squad tried to attack her tail from one opening in the tube. But Momma was too smart for them. She kicked with her back legs and sent the squad flying.

She continued attacking them until, finally defeated, the gnomes filed off to their lair in defeat. Many of them waved goodbye to Momma. Several made the finger heart gesture with their claws as they left.

Momma beamed with triumph. Then she jumped down from one opening in the tube onto the floor. I was shocked! Momma always takes her climbing tree down and never jumps. But today she did!

“Wow!” I exclaimed, “You must be really feeling good today!”.

“I do!” Momma cried, “I feel like a kitten again!”.

Even the Fat One noticed. At the sound of her landing, the Fat One looked over in surprise. “Way to go, Nancy!” he praised her, “Those anty by otics have you feeling as fierce as a tiger!”.

“I am!” Momma roared, “I AM as fierce as a tiger!” She ran over to the Fat One. He put his right hand down to pet her. But instead of pushing her head into it as usual, she rolled on her back, grabbed his hand with her front paws and, pulling it to her, playfully bit it.

“Hey!” the Fat One said in surprise, “Show some respect, Ma’am!”. Momma leapt up and stared at the Fat One with wild eyes, daring him to do something about it.

The Fat One took the bait. “Alrighty then!” he declared, standing up, “I’m gonna getcha! I’m gonna GETCHA!”.

Momma turned and ran out of the room with the Fat One right behind her. I heard them run through the kitchen, down the hall, and into the bedroom. The Fat One kept saying “I’m gonna getcha!” over and over. Suddenly, he yelled, “Hey! My butt is off limits!”.

A few seconds later, Momma came into the Big Room laughing and came over to me.

“Tee hee hee!” she snickered as her face beamed in joy, “I nipped the Fat One on his hiney!”.

“I heard!” I laughed, “It sounds like you got him good!”.

The Fat One came into the Big Room, rubbing his ample hinder. “That was a dirty trick, Nancy!” he proclaimed in mock anger. We both just laughed.

The Fat One stood by his chair. Instead of sitting down though, he muttered, “I need a smoke.”. He walked back to the kitchen. Soon, I heard him rolling a stanky cigar.

“Come on, Momma!” I said with delight, “We’re gonna go outside!”. I picked up my blue ball and ran to the front door. If my ball was this fun inside, it was going to be even more fun on the porch.

Momma and I both stood on our hind legs and pawed at the front door while meowing for the Fat One to hurry up. Finally, the Fat One stood up, came over, and opened the front door, and we burst onto the porch with me carrying my ball in my mouth.

It was a beautiful day! The sun was shining; it was warm and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. The General was laying in the sun. At the sight of us, he stood up and trotted over to Momma.

But instead of rubbing her head against him, Momma play-attacked the General and knocked him down. The General stared at Momma with his good left eye in surprise and then laughed. “You’re feeling feisty today!” he chortled.

“I am!” Momma declared as she playfully pounced the General again, “I’m going to be a pawful today!”.

They both attacked each other while laughing between quick licks to each other’s head. I dropped my ball and batted it around the porch, chasing it with gusto.

Momma and the General lay close together as they groomed each other. I picked up my ball and trotted over to the Fat One as he sat in his green chair by the white table, smoking that rank cigar. I dropped it next to him and meowed, “Toss my ball, Fat One!”.

He reached down, picked it up, and gave it a toss. I gleefully chased after it, batting it around before taking it back to him to toss again.

We did this for a while until the Fat One tired out. Still looking for play, I picked up the ball and walked over to Momma and the General. Dropping the ball, I asked, “Wanna play Roll the Ball?”.

“Oh, let’s!” Momma said exuberantly, “Come on, Nigel. Let’s play!”

“What’s ‘Roll the Ball’?” the General asked with a puzzled expression on his face.

“I’ll teach you!” Momma replied, sitting up, “First we need to sit a way opposite each other.”.

Momma and I positioned ourselves around the General. “I’ll roll the ball to Momma, sir. Then she’ll roll the ball to you. Finally, you roll the ball to me. We keep doing that. It’s fun!” I explained.

I rolled the ball to Momma. “Ok, Nigel!” Momma said, “I’m going to roll it to you!”. Momma batted the ball to the General. The General stopped the ball by putting a paw on it. He looked quizzically at Momma and me. Then at the ball. Then at me. Hesitantly, he batted the ball to me.

“Yay!” Momma and I cheered, “You got it!”. The General looked around beaming with pride. I rolled the ball to Momma, and she rolled it to the General. With confidence, the General swatted it to me and grinned.

I rolled it to Momma. She rolled it again to the General. This time he said, “Oh! Watch this!”. He lay on his back and without looking, batted the ball to me. Momma and I laughed and cheered again. “Way to go, sir!” I laughed as I praised him, “Now you’re getting fancy!”. All three of us laughed.

We continued playing until who should appear around the side of House but that tubby orange tabby, Fred the Fierce. Usually, Fred comes trotting happily around House with his belly swaying side to side, his tail up, the tip at a jaunty angle, and a wide grin on his face.

But not today. He stomped over to us with his tail down, his “Hero” medal bouncing around on his collar and a deep scowl on his face.

“Hey, Fred.” I said.

Fred’s scowl deepened as he sat. His tail swished back and forth in agitation. “Don’t ‘Hey, Fred’ me!” he spat out while glaring, “I need to have a word with you, mister!”.

In surprise, I asked, “What’s up?”.

“My dander! That’s what up!” Fred replied angrily.

I looked at him with a puzzled expression, “Why?”.

“You know why!” Fred growled, his tail swishing faster, “You’ve been eating all the food out of my outside dishes! Keep it up and our friendship will be at an end!”.

“Oh, dear.” I replied flatly with a deadpan expression on my face, “Whatever shall I do?”.

“First of all.” I continued, “I’ve not been off the porch in AGES. And when I am, as you well know, I’m walking the Fat One in my harness and leash.”.

“Secondly, “ I went on gaining steam, “Your ‘outside dishes’ aren’t even yours. You’re taking food out of other cats’ dishes!”.

“But I took it first!” Fred bellowed back, “Squatter’s Rights! It belongs to me!”.

“It doesn’t work that way, Fred!” I yelled back, “You’re still stea-“.

“SQUATTER’S RIGHTS!” Fred hollered, drowning me out.

“The lad’s telling the truth.” the General firmly stated, taking my side.

“We’ve not been anywhere, Fred.” Momma added, “I was very sick for the longest time.”.

“I know what I seen!” Fred spluttered, “I seen Tiddles eating my food with my own eyes. How many Tuxedo cats are in the neighborhood? One! You even hissed at me while you ate!”.

“It’s NOT your foo-!” I started to spit back as I grew even more angry.

“SQUATTER’S RIGHTS!” Fred howled.

Losing it, I hissed and yowled, “IT WASN’T ME! GO ON! GET OUT OF HERE!”.

Fred stood up and, mustering up whatever passes for dignity in him, stomped off towards the field. He stopped at one point and glared over his shoulder at me. Then he continued on his way, muttering “I know what I seen!” and “Squatter’s rights!”.

The three of us just looked at each other in disbelief. But the sun was shining, so we all laid on our backs in its warm rays and put Fred out of our minds.

More later,

Tiddles

PS Photograph for illustrative purposes only.

 

3 Comments

  1. What a wonderful Mothers Day gift !! Mama Nancy is well, feeling good and playing hard! Wonder who Fred saw ? Another cat that looks like Tiddles The-Mighty ? I see trouble coming.. Thanks for yet another wonderful story ❤️

  2. What a beautiful exciting story Tiddles and such a relief your moma is so well. I’m looking forward for your nect one❤️love your stories dear and I love you ❤️💕💕💕

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